The Blog with No Name

Over two years. Two years, and that’s still not enough. What does it take for things to work out? Is there no rules? No pattern? No form to follow? No guidelines? Is there anything that can give the security of permanence? How does one survive the grim moments of trial? Where is the devotion? The steadfastness? The slightest sign that things are less than flawless and the object suddenly becomes something that deserves no sacrifice. Count me out, please.

The Zao shows were great. The first one was at 2 pm at The Paradox. Opening band, The Abadox, played with their back to us while naked men wrapped in red saran wrap crawled around the stage, speakers, and the pit. Very interesting. Can’t say the visuals were every rvery nice. Rather gross at times. Oh well, they finished quickly (thankfully!). Next up: Hexidecimal. Couldn’t tell if they were anti or pro computers. I’m guessing anti. Dressed up in shirts, slacks, and ties, they delivered an okay set. The only line I ever caught was “We are number one.” Hmmm, that’s great. Next band: Three Inches of Blood. Okay, now these guys were cool. They mixed 80’s metal with hardcore, and did a great job of it. They had two vocalists, one doing the hardcore one doing the high pitched metal wail. It was very funny at times. I like them a lot, and I would see them again. Zao finally took the stage at 4:30. Oh, man. I was front and center. I don’t know, it’s just really hard for me to explain it well. It is just so cool to see my favorite band live. However, I have the annoying habit of forgetting the lyrics. I’ll know the songs, but I’ll forget them when it comes time to scream along with them. I think one reason why I can’t really describe the whole thing well is because I actually get involved with the music. I don’t distance myself and listen to it as an outsider like I do with most bands. When you’re “in” the music, it’s hard to describe it as oppposed to when you’re just watching it.

Anyway, the second Zao show was later that night. I went to it as well. Rob and I skipped the first couple of bands. We came in on Totalisti. I tell you what, they SUCKED. [UPDATE: 2/10/06: They have improved quite a bit in the past 5 years] A way cheap rip off of Godsmack that was just plain annoying. Godsmack sucks to start off with, so a cheap rip off of them can’t be any better. Then came the surprise of the evening. One of my favorite emo bands played that night: Brandtson. Now, what’s really cool about this is that they are the musicians who crafted my favoritest song of all time, Blindspot. I would have paid $10 just to see that song live. So, I got to hear my favorite band and my favorite song all in one night. Totally unexpected and totally cool. Zao again delivered an amazing set. You just have to be there to really know what I’m talking about.

On a side note, I’ve discovered this about Zao fans. They are either really cool people or they are just plain jackasses. That’s what it was like the other night. Some of the guys there were really cool to talk to, but then there are these guys you just want to leave. There was this especially annoying girl there . . . only women can get _that_ annoying. ; )

On another side note, I _hate_ stage divers and crowd surfers. They can almost completely ruin a concert. These stupid idiots jumping off the stage onto other people’s heads, while kicking and flailing around is just idiotic, annoying, and stupid. I can’t stand them at all. Whever one comes near me, I pull them down as hard and fast as I can. I don’t care if they get hurt. I know there are a lot of other people who feel the same way about it. Plus, they knock off your glasses so that they get totally demolished by the pit. Good thing I have contacts.

Final thing: second place sucks. I’d rather get last than second place.

Well, almost exactly a year ago I saw Botch, and today I saw Botch again. Technically, I saw them yesterday, so I saw Botch for the first time a year ago minus a day. I find that interesting. Anyway, as I expected they gave a great show full of energy and musical deconstruction. Unfortunately, they did not play my favorite song of theirs “Thank God for the Worker Bees.” But they did play “Hutton’s Great Heat Engine” (that title always reminds of the Dr. Seuss story about Horton the elephant) which is good.

Another band of interest that played last night was Amber Asylum. It’s a quartet of girls and the only instruments are the cello, violin, bass, and drums. I thought it was pretty cool. It was simple and rather uninventive, but it still sounded nice. The last song was rather creepy though, for it was about death, Satan, burning flames, and then a final plea for God to help her. Lots of cheers when Satan was mentioned; the crowd was silent when God was mentioned.

There are a lot of weird people at these shows. Some definite nut cases too I bet. I kinda enjoy it though because I like seeing the _really_ different people. Also, it makes me feel better about myself. I can stand in those crowds and honestly say, “Yes, I am smart. Yes, I am normal. Yes, I’m not a creep. Yes, I dress nicely. Yes, I am good looking. Yes, I am a nice guy. Yes, I have my life in control.” But then when I leave the show, I’m back to my normal doubtfulness.

Okay, I’m listening to Brandtson’s “Fallen Star Collection.” It really isn’t that good which is a major disappointment for me because their first album “Letterbox” was really good. That album also has my all time favorite song: “Blindspot.” BTW, Fallen Star Collection came out about a year and a half ago. I think they have a newer album out.

You know, sometimes I forget how beautiful or wonderful a thing is. Yesterday, I realized that I had forgotten the beauty of something, and I was reminded of the beauty rather unexpectedly. I just wish the reminder could have made me happier.

A couple of days ago, I went to the Experience Music Project (EMP) here in Seattle with my brother and dad for the first time. I must say, it was rather interesting. There was a strong emphasis on music of the Northwest. Furthermore, of course, the exhibits mainly covered mainstream and the development of the mainstream. Granted, you couldn’t really make a museum about the underground scene because, well, nobody would have any clue as to who the bands were and probably wouldn’t really enjoy the music anyway. However, since I am a fan of the underground music scene, I felt like the museum was not really about “music” but about money, music, and morons. I really only enjoyed listening to the older stuff at the exhibit; the stuff that would be called “oldies” by today’s standards. I found some of that stuff very ineteresting too. Did you know that the song “Louie, Louie” popularized by the Kingsmen has been recorded by over a 1000 bands and was subject to a two-year-long FBI investigation for possible obscene lyrics that could be heard when played at slower speeds (on a vinyl of course)? I did not know that.

On top of all of this, I couldn’t really figure out how much of the music was “great.” For example, they had an entire room dedicated to just Jimi Hendrix, basically idolizing him. Call me a musical idiot, but I just don’t think he is that great to be called the greatest guitar player ever. Maybe it’s because I’m not a guitarist and don’t really know all the skills that go into it. There were lots of other bands that other people think are the greatest and I have no apprciatation for: Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Heart, Sex Pistols, etc. Basically, all the mainstream “greats.” I just don’t get it.

Just give me my no-name, underground music, and I’ll be happy.

I think along these lines goes with my growing distaste for popular experiences/ events. I’m discovering that if the event is basically a public experience that is considered “popular,” I often have a hard time enjoying it. Examples of this are popular music, popular vacation spots, tourist attractions, popular movies (to a certain extent), and popular public sentiments about many things. I have been trying to figure out why this is for me. I think one reason is because I cherish the idea of private, individualistic experiences. If the experience is shared by a large number of people, I feel it loses much of its value due to the popularity. I feel as if I share in the same experience, I’ve become an average person or am being manipulated in some way. That is something I don’t like to feel. Anyway, that’s just what I was thinking about the other day.

So, my question today is how do you get to know somebody that you (A)don’t know, (B) rarely see, and (C) have no good way of establishing communication with? Well, under normal circumstances I’d say, “Um, none, so give it up.” But let’s say for the sake of argument that the circumstances are not normal, how would I do get to know the person? Well, heck, I still don’t know; I guess that’s why I’m asking the question.

Zao, has a new album out which is titled, Self-titled. I haven’t quite decided yet, but I think I like it the best of all their recorded works. Anyway, they have some superb songs and the lyrics rock to boot. Some of these songs really hit home with me.

The first song on the album is “5 Year Winter”:

Dear Tiffany,
You’ve made me nauseous for the last time
Everything I’ve said to you
I will form into a spike (to drive through my throat)
In order to stop my words
This time I’ll put them in the ground
Along with my memories and my feelings
I’ll burn it down and walk away
Let the fire warm my back
I wish you would say you hate me
It would make it so much easier
Burn it down and walk away.

I think I can identify pretty closely with this song. At least to some aspects of it. My question is what if you can’t find the match?

The next song that I really like is “The Race of Standing Still”:

I’m racing, racing towards it
Like when I was a small boy
Cutting through a waving field
Decorated by summer sunlight
Unable to remember
Unable to forget
Unable yet at peace
Unable yet scared
I’m racing, racing towards it
With fear and excitement
They seem unseperable
They seem so far apart
They are my close friends
They are my very ghosts
I’m racing towards it
Holding perfectly still
In the race of standing still

At first I only liked this song because of the way it sounded. Musically, it’s an awesome song. But then one day, I was thinking about what exactly a race of standing still is and then I remembered some things from the Bible:

Psalm 46: 10: “Be still, and know that I am God . . .”
1 Cor. 9: 24, 25: “Don’t you know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run like that, that you may win . . . Now they do it to rceive a corruptible crown, but we an incorruptible.”

This song first brought this dichtomy of the Christian life to my mind. On one hand, we should be standing still, being at peace and just letting God minister to us. However, at the same time, we should be actively pursuing His goals and accomplishing His will. My question here is how do you run while staying still? Maybe this can be done by having Somebody else carry you.

The 3rd song that I thought was excellent both lyrically and musically is “The Dreams that Don’t Come True”:

I tried again, I fell again
To find out for myself
It hurts
For a lifetime
Your picture rests there for a lifetime
And for a lifetime I will dream of you
I prepare the mantle inside of my heart
With your photograph to sooth the scars
Unable to be erased, unable to be forgotten
As I grow older
I will dream

Ugh, this song is pretty self-explanatory for me. Sometimes a good memory is a curse (c.f. Citizen Kane)