After such a long journey, the light showed no signs of tiring. It splashed down into the little field I stood in, filling it with warmth. The tall green grass of the field gently swayed with the summer vespyrs. I turned my head to the sky and greeted the traveling rays with a smile. It was good to be there. After a few more moments of reverie, my thoughts about my present situation began again.
First, I looked to the eastern horizon. Yes, there was definitely a storm coming. Dark gray clouds with black bottoms were gathering their forces. Occasionally there was a flash of light. It would be a very large storm, but it was still a long ways off.
Second, I looked to the west. There was the house that I was visiting while on my journey home. Compared to some, my journey has been easy, but for me it is often very difficult. So, on my journey home I rest at every house that will welcome me. However, it’s rare that I find a house that not only welcomes me but also I feel comfortable in. When I find one of those houses, I stay as long as I can. At this particular house, I had been most comfortable and thoroughly enjoyed the company of my host. However, for some reason, I do not remember how, I was forced out of the house. I do not know how it happened, but one day I found myself forced outside and the door shut behind me. But this time when I looked back at it, my former host was standing outside the black rectangle of a doorway and beckoning to me. I squinted against the sun and raised my hand to shade my eyes. My host seemed rather earnest to get my attention. I could see my host’s mouth open and close, but I could not hear any words.
I slowly walked towards my host through the tall green grass swaying with the summer vespyrs. I was curious to discover what my host wanted. I became conscious again of the warmth of the sun and the pleasant breezes. I was happy out here. Free, independent, and alone. I glanced over my shoulder towards the east. I could see my path; a thin brown thread winding towards the storm. For some reason, it looked very inviting to me. I knew there were storms coming and that my path was hard, but it did not fear it.
Finally I could hear the voice of my host, “Come back! Please come back and stay with me!”
I continued walking forward. I did not want to yell. Once my host saw that I was coming back the field fell silent. I stopped a few feet from the porch on which my former host stood.
“Why?” I whispered.
“Why what? Please come back in and stay with me.”
“Why should I come back in?”
“Because I want you to. Don’t you remember all the times we’ve had together? How happy we were in each other’s company? Come. Come back inside and stay a while longer. I’m sorry for forcing you out.”
I craned my neck to look past my host. I could see the door of the house. I turned and faced the east. The storm was still amassing it’s might above my path. I saw three quick flashes of light before I turned again to examine the door. Something was different about it.
“Please? I want you to stay longer. I’m sorry for forcing you out of my house.”
I did not respond.
“Why are you so quiet? Please come back inside. I’ll make you a cup of your favorite tea. See? Nothing has changed. It’s all the same.”
That’s when I realized what was different. Something had changed. The house had changed. The doorway was no longer lit by the friendly glow of the hearth where we had sat together for endless hours. In fact, the doorway stood black and empty. Like the maw of a monster patiently waiting for someone to eat up. The frame of the door was dirty and decaying. When I had first entered it was a brilliant white and new. The two windows on the side of the door were dirty as well and covered with cobwebs. A spider was busy mummifying his prey in one of the webs. It stopped suddenly and I swear it looked at me with its eight tiny little eyes. I shivered.
“No, I’ll stay out here. I have to get going anyway.”
“Why do you want to do that? Look. Don’t you see the storm coming? Come inside and take shelter until it has passed.”
“No, I’m not afraid of the storm. I am afraid of your house.”
“What? Why? It’s the same as when you left! Nothing is different. Come back inside, please.”
“No it isn’t the same. It’s scary now. Besides, I need to continue with my journey.”
“What’s scary about it? It’s the same as when you left.”
“It’s dark in there.”
My host glanced back at the house and then my eyes, “Yes, it is dark, but it doesn’t matter.”
“It’s dirty in there too.”
My host began to get frustrated, “So? That doesn’t matter. It’s the same as before. Come back inside.”
“I don’t like the cobwebs and spiders either . . .”
“What? Oh come on! They’re tiny little bugs! They don’t matter!” My host then tried to catch one of the spiders or sweep away the cobwebs –I don’t know which– but stopped before the webs or spiders were touched. My host stared down at the ground for a minute and then whispered, “They aren’t scary.”
“Why don’t you just go light the hearth, sweep your house, and get rid of the spiders? Then I’ll come back inside.”
“No, why do you care about these things that don’t matter? Come back inside and see for yourself that nothing has changed.”
“I think these things do matter. If you just take care of those things I’ll come back inside. I’m scared of the spiders especially.”
I saw the spider I had noticed earlier still entombing its prey. Again, it suddenly stopped and –I swear– stared at me. I shivered.
“Oh come now! You’re just being silly! Come back inside, be safe from the storm, and it’ll be just like old times.”
“No, it’s too scary. Make it light in there, clean it up, and get rid of the spiders. I’m scared of them.”
“Why do you keep asking me that? I can’t clean up this whole place alone! You’re being petty with your fears.”
“No, I’m not. Your place isn’t the same, and I don’t like how it’s changed. I’m beginning to think you’ve changed too.”
“Well, you know what? That did it! I want you to come back and stay with me a while longer, but, no, you want to stay out there even though you know a storm is coming. Well, fine! But you know what? I’ll leave my door open for you. How about that? All you have to do is walk in, and I’ll have tea brewing for you. I can’t make you come inside, but I’ll leave the door open. All you have to do is walk inside.”
“I won’t. It’s too scary. Why don’t you just light the place, clean it up, and get rid of the spiders?”
“Because they don’t matter! If you really wanted to come in or cared for my company you would ignore those things and just come inside. Bye bye.” With that my host turned on a heel and disappeared into the dusty blackness of the doorway. Sure enough the door stayed open.
I stood there in front of the porch in front of the house. Most of the time I was looking at the ground and thinking. Occasionally, I would glance up at the spider. It was always busy with its prey, and it would always stop and look at me when I watched it. Every time I shivered.
I must have stood there for an hour. My host never again appeared or called out from the blackness. I knew I could not go inside. I slowly turned again to the east. The storm clouds had grown in size and darkness. My path led me under their wrath.
I was less scared of those storm clouds than that house. I set forward again on my journey home. The light fell down gently on my shoulders, encouraging my soul. On both sides of my path, the tall green grass swayed gently with the summer vespyrs. The storms would not come for a time.
