The Blog with No Name

I’m having another one of those moments where I feel like I should write something, but I don’t know what. Thoughts and emotions are stirring down deep, trying to evolve out of the shallowness. I wonder when I’ll be able to start writing better again. I don’t have the emotional content to write, and I haven’t had it in a long time.

Okay, I’ll start off by admitting that I do not have an excuse for my current state. I am a very bored man, but I’m too lazy to really do anything about it. There is plenty of stuff I can do to keep my self occupied and productive, but I’m too darn lazy to generate the motivation to do them. I feel rather pathetic sometimes . . .

Heck, I can hardly write a decent journal these days. :p

Today I was told I looked like I hated everybody. Of course, the individual who said it was joking. At least I hope the comment was made in jest. But still, something like that makes me think about it some. Actually, I’m not sure what I think about it. I guess it is rather disconcerting that I can even _look_ like I hate everybody. I mean, heck, I was just sitting there listening to a conversation, how hate-filled could I look? Anyway, let’s tack this on to the other negative comments about my personality. As it stands now I am scary, intimidating, bitter, unhappy, and now hateful. Seems like I’m shaping up rather nicely.

Quote of the moment: “You break my heart into a thousand pieces because you think I deserve better?”
-From Autumn to Ashes

I got back yesterday from a big family week over the 4th. I saw all of my immediate family and a good portion of my extended family. First time ever for me. I’m not sure if I can really say I was raised with a strong sense of family. I know very little about my heritage, where I’m from, and the history of my family. Anyway, it was good to see the family and here some stories. The occasion was two 50th wedding anniversaries. One was my mother’s parents and the other was my dad’s aunt and uncle. Both were in northern Ohio so it made it real easy for us to go to both. I spent most of the time at my grandma and grandpa’s. After a catered meal Grandpa spoke about his life, how he met Grandma, and his testimony. Then while everybody was sitting in the living room we asked them questions and some people shared memories. I didn’t say anything.

One thing that struck me while I was there was the how much my family is stuck out west. Nearly the entirety of my extended family is on the east coast and most in Ohio or thereabouts.

On the 4th I went to Cedar Point with Drew and Tom. It was pretty cool. We rode all the major rollercoasters. The best were The Raptor and Millennium Force. The Raptor is a hanging ride which lasts for over two minutes while it twists and spoons and loops. Very fun. The Millennium Force is Cedar Point’s newest coaster. It is very fast and the initial drop is extremely long and steep. At one point we were going pretty much straight down. However, the bad thing about this ride was that it had the longest line and the ride was pretty short. The fireworks were weird that night though. I think they had a technical difficulty or something because after no type of climax they stopped going off. Then about ten minutes later they started going again. Then they stopped for about another minute or so, and then there was an enormous climax. Strange but the climax at the end made it all worth it.

I’m glad I don’t live in Ohio anymore.

Well, it happened again, unsurprisingly. I ask myself why I even try or put any type of hope in you. Three strikes and you’re out; I gave you four. Leave me alone. If you’re going to tell me something, be honest, don’t feed me lines, and don’t give me false hopes. Figure out what the heck you want and go for it. There’s no sense is generating casualties just because you have no idea what the heck you’re doing. Yes, I guess it’s partly my fault, but that’s only because I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Don’t think I’m being too harsh. You have done little to nothing to give me reason to think otherwise. I try to be tolerant and easy going, but sometimes you push me too far. You’ve pushed me too far now, so leave me alone.

Gosh, I hope something out there is worth all this stupidity.